


positive entropy, negative enthalpy (spontaneous reaction)

by astroblemish



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Puns, Chemistry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-07 21:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14089845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroblemish/pseuds/astroblemish
Summary: Sehun isn't clumsy, he just has an allergy to cute boys and a tendency to drop glass beakers around them --not that Jongdae needs to know about that.





	positive entropy, negative enthalpy (spontaneous reaction)

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to the past me who wrote most of this, who did end up passing chemistry against all odds, and who eventually saw thor 3. And to the current me, who still needs to learn how to write fun, _short_ , nonsensical things for themselves again without having a crisis about the quality. 
> 
> but most of all this is dedicated to sechen. fuck u both. making u pretentious stem wankers is payback for all the heartburn.

Sehun is not failing chemistry. Sehun is not even _close_ to failing chemistry.

“I’m going to fail chemistry,” he declares, a half-whisper as he leans across the table, hovering over the 1000-page textbook Jongin’s spread in front of himself. Earphones dangling out from the collar of his shirt, Jongin gives Sehun a flat look.

“You are not going to fail chemistry,” he mumbles, indignant. “You have a four-point-oh. You literally never stop studying.”

“It’s not a four-point-oh anymore,” Sehun retorts childishly, even though it’s kind of a self-drag type of comeback. “I failed the last prac.”

All it takes is five too many spills and some broken glassware before the experimental data is ruled out as having too many errors and the time to complete the practical properly runs out.

Then again, that hadn’t exactly been Sehun’s fault.

“You’re a mess,” Jongin reiterates, sighing. “If all it takes for you to muck up is a pretty boy then I’m insulted I have no effect on you.”

“You’re plenty pretty,” Sehun reassures, with little enthusiasm, he supposes, mostly because Jongin’s attractiveness is just an objective fact, regardless of the point that Sehun would rather shove a dick into a meat grinder than any of his best friend’s orifices --doesn’t make him any less pretty. “But that lab tech was _hot_.”

Jongin rolls his eyes, and Sehun is about to argue that it’s only the twenty-sixth time he’s mentioned the fact --not that he’s counting-- but the TA rounds on their table within the next second which prompts forces Sehun to pretend he’s happily calculating theoretical equilibrium quotients instead of gossiping like a kid. He can’t help it, in hindsight, because the lab technician who’d been on duty near their area was the hottest person Sehun had ever seen. _Ever_. And now he wastes his days away wishing he’d gotten his name.

 _Mess_ , Jongin mouths across the table, later, as Sehun is being reprimanded for zoning out. He hadn’t been thinking about the best ass in the chemistry department he’s ever seen or anything. Nope. Not in the slightest.

  


 

“You cannot have a crush on someone you’ve never spoken to.” Jongin says flatly, for what feels like the millionth time as Sehun vibrates on the spot, buttoning up his lab coat.

“It’s a free country,” he argues, huffing, and Jongin groans all over again. Their chemistry practicals are only once a week, which means Sehun has waited seven whole goddamn days to catch the hot lab tech’s name (and maybe his number but Sehun’s naive yet not _that_ naive.) Poor Jongin has accepted the brunt of Sehun’s wistful pining due to their carefully coordinated timetables and similar majors and the fact that he’s maybe Sehun’s only friend --of course that pining mostly consists of the occasional school boy sigh and Sehun zoning out mid-conversation due to dirty but not necessarily unwelcome thoughts but still. He sympathises.

“Ugh, whatever,” Jongin grunts, and pushes Sehun through the door. Although they have the same prac time, their seat numbers couldn’t be farther apart. “Just fuck him on the bench for all I care and get it out of your system.”

Sehun frowns, but Jongin’s already slipped away to his own seat, as Sehun just shoves his lab glasses on and puts his bag beneath the bench. A quick cursory glance around tells him that the lab tech is nowhere in sight, and Sehun tries not to feel too disappointed by that.

Thankfully, it’s not partnered work, so Sehun is free to set up the spectrophotometer as he sees fit, yawning as he carefully measures out the solution and calibrates the machine to the set standard.

Except the graph it draws isn’t even close to what it should be, and Sehun frowns, raising his hand.

“Excuse me,” he tells the demonstrator for his area, Sunyoung. “Is it meant to be going off the chart?”

“No,” she replies, confirming what Sehun already knows. “Give me a sec.”

She disappears behind one of the back doors, coming back out with a lab technician, except it isn’t just any lab technician, it’s _him._ The hot one. The one who had been so distressingly attractive Sehun had knocked over a tray of beakers and failed his last practical because he wasn’t watching his hands.

Great.

“What’s the problem?” He asks, and Sehun suddenly forgets every word in the English dictionary. Even the Korean he speaks with his family at home is out the window, all he’s got left is internal screaming and something inside his head being on fire.

“Um,” he says, because hot lab tech is a lot hotter up close with wire-frames and curly black hair, moles dotting along his jawline and freckles across the bridge of his nose. Sehun gestures at the spectrophotometer helplessly, floundering.

“Oh,” hot lab tech says, and frowns at it, fiddling with the settings for a bit. Sehun just stands there, speechless, as his demonstrator goes back to assist other students, leaving Sehun to watch the lab tech do his magic and _suffering_. “There.” He says, eventually, smiling at Sehun and sending an arrow through his heart in the process because _wow_ , that smile. God will never outdo such perfection. “Someone fudged the settings.”

He says _fudged_. Adorable.

“Thank you,” Sehun manages, mentally running an award ceremony to give himself the _You Didn’t Fuck Up And Stammer!_ prize. “I was worried I’d done something wrong.”

The lab tech chuckles politely. “Not this time, for once,” he says, and Sehun stares at him in confusion. “You think I forget the face of the guy who breaks five beakers in under thirty seconds?”

Sehun turns red within an instant, distinctly remembering the way he’d dropped two, then the lab tech had run over to clean up, and then he’d broken another three because _hot boy_.

Lab tech laughs, a bubbling thing, bright and wonderful in a way Sehun would admire a lot more if it wasn’t like, _at_ him. “I’m just teasing,” he says, and places a reassuring hand on Sehun’s shoulder which he stares at with wide eyes because _hot boy touching him._ The lab tech promptly pulls it back, embarrassed at his own touchiness, and Sehun wants to reassure him that it’s not him, it’s _Sehun_ , but he doesn’t quite have the words for that. “People break stuff all the time, don’t sweat it.”

And when things are broken, the hot lab tech is called to clean it up.

Interesting.

“Jongdae,” a woman calls, head sticking out from one of the back doors. “Do you have a sec? I need your help with something.”

“Try not to break anything this time,” hot lab tech --no, _Jongdae_ \-- says, smiling reassuringly at Sehun before walking away, disappearing through the backdoors.

Sehun sighs dreamily, turning back to his prac, and tips over a beaker of dye since he wasn’t watching his hands.

It hadn’t broken, luckily. Then again, thinking about Jongdae cleaning up his messes for him, Sehun rethinks his definition of _lucky._

  


 

Sehun shuts up about Jongdae after that, which, in hindsight, only causes Jongin to get more suspicious, narrowing his eyes at him across the table as Sehun innocently ignores him until he snaps _._

“It’s been over twenty-four hours since you talked about the hot lab tech,” Jongin starts, pointing a drumstick at Sehun accusingly. “What the hell happened on Wednesday?”

“Nothing,” he lies, absentmindedly picking at his food, piece by piece. “I just figured you were sick of hearing about Jongdae.”

It has nothing to do with the fact that Sehun is a chronic babbler and Jongin will try and talk him out of his plans of breaking shit to get Jongdae to talk to him but, hey.

“You got his name?” Jongin says, surprised, and then his eyes widen. “Jongdae like… Jongdae Kim?”

“Well I didn’t get his full name,” Sehun mumbles, stirring his straw, before, “Wait, you _know_ him?”

“I know _of_ him,” Jongin corrects, and pulls out his phone, scrolling through facebook before turning the screen around. “This him?”

It’s Jongdae alright, laughing and covered in mud while two other boys seem to have tackled him with their arms around one thigh each, holding Jongdae in mid-air. Even smeared with dirt he’s still beautiful. Damn it.

“That’s him,” Sehun blurts, and then, “How do you know him?”

“He’s like, best friends with Baekhyun,” Jongin says, locking his phone shut and placing it face-down on the table. “We’re in a group chat together about seeing Thor 3.”

“Wait,” Sehun says, because this is a lot of information to process. Maybe he won’t have to purposefully break glassware every prac after all, if they have friends in common. “Is Baekhyun the assistant you shouldn’t have fucked but did anyway or the one you fucked but kind of want to keep on fucking and maybe hold hands with?”

There’s a long, awkward pause.

“... The latter.”

“Ah,” Sehun says. Jongin is one of those nerdy kids that gets asked by biology professors to assist them with research for a summer internship. She’d taken in three undergrads alongside her two T.As --one of them who actually teaches Jongin’s class. He’d fucked both of the assistants regardless. Props to him. (Well, he only found he was his actual T.A _after_ the fucking, but Sehun digresses.) “You have to get me in that group chat.”

“No way,” Jongin replies instantly. “I barely know Jongdae and things are… awkward with Chanyeol, I’m not gonna impose on them like that.”

Chanyeol must have been the former, then. “Are you calling me a burden?” Sehun says, pouting childishly.

“That’s not what I meant--” Jongin quickly scrambles, and Sehun again thinks, _ah_ , nice people really are so easy to push around; too bad all that guilt comes attached. Jongin deflates. “--You know I feel weird about plus one-ing. They’ve all been friends with each other since like, primary school. Chanyeol only invited me because I mentioned I wanted to see it.” He chews on his cheek, and adds, “Besides, what are you even going to do? You’re a social recluse. You’ve never flirted with anyone in your life.”

Sehun gasps at that, and Jongin rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t have a comeback because somewhere underneath it all he’s kind of right. Sehun having an infatuation with someone is just a common occurrence --non-stop shutting up about them for weeks but never having the actual guts to like, do anything about it. It’s not that Sehun doesn’t want to, more that he just doesn’t have the means of _how_ to.

But again, they’re not in high school anymore, and Sehun’s confidence has slowly been increasing bit by bit over the past few years now that he knows what a skincare routine is and got rid of his lisp. He hasn’t had an unfounded infatuation in a few months now, but certainly not one he’s ever actually had the chance of like, talking to, let alone sharing mutual friends with them.

“I may be socially awkward,” Sehun argues, slamming his fork down dramatically as Jongin rolls his eyes. “But I am an excellent texter.” Jongin actually pauses at this, like he’s mulling it over, and that’s how Sehun knows he’s winning the case. “Just think about it: this is the perfect opportunity for me to actually do something about a crush, and with texting I have all the time and the tools--” memes, mostly, and GIPHY, “--at my disposal to actually be charming, getting over all the first-meeting awkwardness in a controlled environment therefore heightening my chances when we actually go to see Thor 3: Ragnarok, because my anxiety won’t play up if we’ve been talking on the regular.”

“Your hypothesis is already flawed,” Jongin says, poking Sehun’s shin beneath the table. “You’re awkward with people long past the first meeting, it's too inconsistent. A second variable.”

Shit, talk about the ball being in the prosecutor’s court.

“Okay,” Sehun tries, slowly. “But shouldn’t you, as my best friend, theoretically, encourage me to break out of my comfort zone?”

Jongin hums. “Yes, but I should, also, theoretically, prevent you from doing things you will regret and blame me for later.” He narrows his eyes. “Say, fucking up in front of a cute boy, for example.”

“Jongdae isn’t cute,” Sehun argues. “He’s hot.”

Jongin sighs; Sehun smirks victoriously.

Case won.

“Fine,” Jongin relents, and Sehun laughs happily. “But when you inevitably make a fool of yourself--” Sehun opens his mouth. “--And yes, that’s a when.” Sehun closes his mouth. “You are legally obligated to not blame me for it.”

He purses his lips. “Deal.” He obliges, and Jongin opens his phone. “Wait, holy shit, now?”

“Yes, now,” he says, tapping in a message. “Because once I get home I’m going to nap and you’re going to forget to remind me to ask so, now.”

He holds up the message for Sehun’s approval. _Hey guys, one of my friends wants to tag along on Saturday, is that cool?_ And Sehun gives a nod, so Jongin thumbs, send.

“There.” He says. “If they decline that’s not on me.”

Sehun snorts. “Of course it isn’t.” Jongin’s phone pings, and Sehun immediately scrambles across the table. “What’d they say?”

 _ofc_ , comes the response under someone whose nickname is breasticles. Fuck, so many group chat inside jokes Sehun is going to have to catch up on, damn it. _add him to the gc._

“The power is in your hands,” Jongin mumbles, as he opens up the options to click on the plus beside Sehun’s name.

  


 

Sehun can’t reply immediately, because that might make it look like he’s sitting across from Jongin waiting to be added to the group chat, which is preposterous, but he can’t open it on the way home either, because that’s still too soon.

Which means Sehun has to chew his way through a set of chemistry problems for the day at home while ignoring the way his phone screen keeps lighting up with messenger notifications.

Eventually, he cracks, and pulls open the chat, mostly useless drivel between breasticles and lightly charred bread --Baekhyun and Chanyeol respectively, Sehun discovers, after checking their profiles-- with a few add-ins from Jongin here and there but nothing from Jongdae. Fuck. Fuck Sehun’s entire life.

 _Oh, new guy!!!!!!_ Comes one of lightly charred bread’s messages, and Sehun introduces himself, responding with a cute gif and everything. He ends up getting caught between Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s back-and-forth, enjoying the way they refuse to let the chat die at all, with Jongin answering once he gets out of dance practice, and before he knows it it’s long past his self-imposed curfew, and Jongdae hasn’t even read the messages once.

 

 

 

“My plan backfired.” Sehun states plainly, as he stares at himself in the mirror.

“Yep,” Jongin replies from the bed, apathetically, and gives him a blank look over the top of his phone. “But hey, at least you’re in with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.”

“Not as in as you have been previously though,” Sehun replies slyly, and Jongin throws a pillow at his head. “I deserved that.”

“You deserve worse,” Jongin mumbles, and Sehun, deeming his outfit hot-lab-tech-wooing-worthy, jumps onto the bed beside him, frowning when he sees who Jongin is talking to on Snapchat.

“Please don’t tell me you’re sexting Baekhyun,” Sehun grimaces, and Jongin pulls off yet another pillow to smush it in his face.

“No,” Jongin reiterates, muttering, “Not for a lack of trying…” which Sehun sticks his tongue out and makes a noise akin to blegh, causing Jongin to giggle. “He’s just streak-obsessed or whatever.”

“More like you-obsessed,” Sehun teases, enjoying the way Jongin’s skin flushes, and takes the phone out of his hand, snapping a selfie just like that --Jongin looking cute and bashful and Sehun giving a lazy peace sign. He chucks in a peace sign emoji caption just in case Baekhyun doesn’t get the gist, and hits send.

 _SEHUNNIE!!!!!!!_ Comes Baekhyun’s immediate chat response, which makes Sehun laugh. _u should add me on sc :((_

 _later,_ Sehun responds, because he can’t be fucked reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his phone right now. He clicks Jongin’s shut and tosses it back to him lightly, watching the way Jongin is frowning, slightly.

“Stop thinking that,” Sehun scolds, even though Jongin hasn’t said anything. It's not a true best friendship if people don't mistake you for dating at least once. “He knows we’re just friends.”

“But what if he doesn’t,” Jongin says, a half-whine, and it would be almost cute and puppyish if Sehun wasn’t exposed to the attitude ninety percent of his life.

“Then he’ll get jealous and realise how much he wants you to himself,” Sehun adds, matter-of-factly, but falters at the look on Jongin’s face. “You really like this guy, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” Jongin mumbles, defensively, and pulls a pillow against his chest, causing Sehun to sigh and roll off the bed, standing.

“We should go,” he says. “I wanna pick up some snacks at the supermarket so I’m not broke.”

Jongin snorts. “Okay,” he says, and gives a little lopsided smile which Sehun takes as a _we’re okay_. Not that they’re ever not okay but sometimes one of them is just less okay in general but it’s kind of a best friend’s job to make sure that doesn’t stay the case.

 

 

 

Because they’re chronically late --it’s a terminal disease, truly-- Sehun and Jongin rock up to the cinema fifteen minutes after the group had agreed. (Most of that time had been spent fighting over which flavour of chips to buy and calming Sehun’s nerves down with a pep-talk outside but hey, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae didn’t need to know that.)

“Late as hell but still not the latest,” Baekhyun says, grinning as soon as he spots them across the floor. “Congratulations.”

It’s just him, no Chanyeol nor Jongdae. Sehun’s palms are sweating, so he shoves them in the pockets of his hoodie.

“Silver medals are better than no medals at all,” Sehun weakly cracks, and Baekhyun just grins up at him.

“You’re a lot taller than I thought you’d be,” he remarks, which causes Sehun to flush, because all sorts of attention cause Sehun to flush. Baekhyun smirks at Jongin. “Do you have a height requirement for friendship?”

Jongin smiles. “You’re the lucky exception.” Sehun refuses to grimace at that excuse for flirting but, whatever. Jongin got him in here, it’s the least he can do to not be a total embarrassment and support his awkward romancing.

Baekhyun just grins at him, elbowing Jongin slyly back, but Sehun kind of tunes out that push-and-pull because he spots a tall ass head of bright red hair but more importantly the shorter curly black head beside it coming up the escalator and it’s like the world stops.

If it were a movie, some really, slow, romantic song would be playing as Jongdae comes up the escalator, laughing at something Chanyeol must’ve said while tucking his hair behind his ear absent-mindedly. Sehun’s brain switches on an instinctive tacky snapchat filter and everything around Jongdae becomes all sparkly and a little distorted and oh god Sehun wants to throw up. In a positive way. Positive puke.

“You’re drooling,” Jongin mutters, right into Sehun’s ear, and it’s enough to get him to tear his eyes away, discretely wiping at his -- _dry_ , thank you very much, Jongin-- mouth and turning back around so it doesn’t look like he’s been staring at Jongdae in all his casual clothed glory for the past thirty seconds.

“Right on time I see,” Baekhyun teases, as Chanyeol and Jongdae just laugh sheepishly, Chanyeol rubbing the back of his neck.

“Somebody,” he says, giving Jongdae a pointed glance. “Wouldn’t answer his phone when we were trying to meet up at the station.”

“You know I always have it on silent,” Jongdae says, poking Chanyeol’s side, and then pauses as he looks up at Sehun, noticing him for the first time. “Oh,” he says. “You’re the guy that breaks everything.”

Scientifically speaking, spontaneous human combustion is impossible and, quite frankly, ridiculous even hypothetically.

However, Sehun’s face is so warm, his body might just be intent on starting a scientific phenomenon.

“You two know each other?” Baekhyun intercepts, saving Sehun from standing there like a lovestruck idiot with a dopey crush. Which he isn’t. At all. Shut up Jongin’s face. Why do his eyes have to communicate so many words so easily like that?

“He’s one of the kids in the lab when I’m on duty,” Jongdae says, so casually like it’s nothing, meanwhile Sehun hears the sound of a thousand windows shattering and Jongin physically winces, like actual, honest-to-god, _flinches_. Jongdae, noticing, furrows his eyebrows together and says, “What?”

“Nothing,” Sehun quickly replies, because at least when he’s heartbroken he’s severely less anxious --nothing to fuck up when your hopes have all been crushed and withered within the first thirty seconds. “I don’t break everything.”

“Five beakers is a lab record man,” Jongdae teases lightly, and adds, “But I don’t think we’ve properly met. I’m Jongdae, by the way.”

An anxious Sehun would’ve said, _I know_ , because an anxious Sehun exists to fuck up.

However, this Sehun is a heartbroken one, so he simply returns Jongdae’s outstretched hand and says, “Sehun.” Smiling lopsidedly.

“Which you’d actually know if you ever used your phone and checked the group chat.” Baekhyun clicks his tongue.

Jongdae snorts. “I had that thing muted the moment you two even started it,” he shakes his head. “God knows you idiots never shut up. I get enough of that in real life. Not every occasion in the world needs a special group chat.”

Baekhyun screeches in offence at that, but it’s clear to Sehun how long they’ve known each other, and just how well, too. Bouncing back and forth like they don’t know how to talk any other way and constantly teasing and ribbing at each other, like they’re always trying to outdo the person before them in terms of loudness or rudeness or the amount of laughs it gathers. It’s amazing, and a little bit intoxicating, in a way, for Sehun and Jongin, who are far more quiet and laid back in general, but it doesn’t necessarily mix poorly. The older three still make a habit to include the two in their discussions now and again, but Jongin makes more of an effort than Sehun does, still wistfully sighing and staring at Jongdae every now and again in between his heart mending itself back together.

“I need to pee before the movie starts,” Jongin says, tugging Sehun by the wrist and communicating _come with me_ silently, which Sehun sighs at and relents to, letting himself be pulled to his feet.

“What are you guys, high school girls?” Chanyeol jokes, snorting. "Can't go to the bathroom alone?" Baekhyun whacks him in the chest.

“Don’t be misogynistic,” he scolds.

“It’s not misogynistic!" Chanyeol defends.

“It’s totally misogynistic,” Jongdae adds. “That’s why you specified girls, see--”

“Ah shit,” Chanyeol remarks, leaning back. “It’s totally misogynistic. Damn, ingrained sexism is so hard to erase--” the rest fades off as Sehun is pushed into the bathroom and Jongin closes the door behind him.

“He called me a kid.” Is the first thing he manages, a pathetic whine.

“He did,” Jongin replies. “But that’s not the end of the world, Sehun.”

“It’s totally the end of the world,” Sehun says, and leans back against a urinal in desperation before realising that that’s kind of gross and promptly stands up again. “He kidzoned me before he even learnt my name.”

“Listen, if I can break out of the teacher-student zone with Chanyeol you can break out of the kidzone with Jongdae,” Jongin says reassuringly, bracing his hands on Sehun’s shoulder even though like, Jongin’s morally questionable --but successful-- relationship --or fucking, at the very least-- isn’t the most empowering thing Sehun could be reminded of right now.

“But he was your teacher after you fucked him,” Sehun points out. “That’s totally different.”

“Semantics,” Jongin quickly says, and Sehun’s frown deepens. “Him calling you kid does not mean you’re kidzoned, Sehun. You can break into the friendzone at least, he’s only like--” Jongin quickly counts on his fingers. “--Two-ish years older than us. It’s fine.”

“But he’s a grad-student,” Sehun sighs wistfully. “He probably has a job, wife, kids, mortgage and an alcohol problem.” He sniffles, once, with dignity. “I haven’t even got my bachelor’s yet. I might as well be wearing a diaper right now, Jongin.”

Jongin groans in frustration. “If you didn’t act like a melodramatic three year old all the time maybe you wouldn’t be kidzoned right now!” He scolds, and it’s so rare that he snaps like that Sehun is actually surprised. Jongin’s grip on Sehun’s shoulders tighten. “Just talk to him. Act like yourself. And get out of the kidzone. That’s the goal for today Sehun. That’s what you were put on this earth to do.”

“Right,” Sehun agrees, and nods, feeling vindicated. “I’m gonna fucking get into the friendzone or die trying.”

“Hopefully not permanently though,” Jongin tacks on, and then grins. “Ready?”

Sehun nods, determined. “Ready.”

Jongin opens the bathroom door, just in time to catch Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae laughing, so loud it can be heard across the cinema entrance floor, and Sehun cowers and tugs Jongin back into the bathroom at the sight of the most beautiful smile in the world (Jongdae’s.). “Not ready. Never ready. I’m climbing out the window it’s the only option.”

“Sehun we’re six floors up.”

“I never said it was a good option,” Sehun hisses, and then, “Fuck, why is he so pretty??? Who asked???”

“Sehun focus,” Jongin reiterates, causing Sehun’s hopeless sonnet about how pretty Jongdae is to go unfinished. “Getting friendzoned, remember? That’s the first step in the reaction, you can worry about the rest of it later. It’s a very slow reaction rate.”

“Oh god what if it hits equilibrium and we never get any further,” Sehun voices aloud, horrified at the thought, and Jongin shakes his shoulders.

“Pull yourself together!” He scolds. “You are not an electron, you are a ball of protons and neutrons and you will stay together or die trying.”

“Fuck,” Sehun says. “You’re right. I’m a mess, but I can do this.”

Jongin relaxes, huffing out a sigh. “Good,” he says. “And no more blushing. Stop being white phosphorus and start being diamond, Sehun. You’ve got this.”

“I’ve got this.” Sehun repeats, fired up all over again.

  


 

“I don’t got this,” he harshly whispers into Jongin’s ear, right when he’s flirt-laughing to Baekhyun about something he said which probably wasn’t even that funny but hey, that’s how flirt-laughing works, Sehun supposes. Not that he’s paying attention to that at all when Jongdae’s world-class ass is like, a metre away from him.

“Don’t got what?” Chanyeol asks over his shoulder, and then Jongdae turns around to glance at Sehun too and oh, fuck, does he have to do that? Look at Sehun like that? With his eyes?

Diamond not white phosphorus. Sehun reminds himself. He is invincible. He will not spontaneously react with the oxygen around him on contact.

“My keys,” he blurts, and then wow, Sehun, 10/10 for improvisation. God, he hates lying so much, not only because he’s god awful at it but just because he’s honest by nature, but sometimes it’s inevitable. “I can’t find them.” He can feel his batman keychain digging into his left buttcheek as he speaks but that’s neither here nor there.

“Did you lose them?” Jongdae asks, concerned, and oh fuck, no, don’t do that, don’t be nice too, there’s only so much heartbroken Sehun can stand before anxious in front of pretty boys Sehun comes out to play. “Should we go back and check? We can be late to the movie.”

“It’s fine,” Sehun quickly says. “I probably just lost them at home. Do it all the time, really.” Sehun has never forgotten anything in his life, ever, it comes with the crippling anxiety thing. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…” Jongdae says, still obviously concerned, but then they’re filing into the cinema before Sehun can come up with any form of reassurance but thank god for darkness because he is bright fucking red right now. God, his muscles are probably going to lose oxygen from how much blood is being sent to his face. Jongdae is bad for Sehun’s health.

They fill into their assigned row of seats but with the way they’d been walking it means it goes Jongin closest to the middle, then Baekhyun, then Chanyeol, then Jongdae, and Sehun on the end at the aisle, meaning he has no one to talk to but Jongdae, and Jongin is as far away from him as possible. Great. This could not be going any better.

Jongin tips his head back and meets Sehun’s eyes, which he hopes are helplessly screaming _end me!!!!!!!_ Jongin just gives an apologetic shrug and and leans forward again.

“I don’t even remember what happened in the last one,” Jongdae remarks suddenly, which almost causes Sehun to jump before he thinks, _diamond_ , and cools his nerves. He has a friendzone level to climb up to by the end of the night or die trying.

“Something something… Loki… something something infinity stone?” Chanyeol offers, and Jongdae snorts, whacking his arm.

“Thanks for the recap,” he says teasingly, and then turns to Sehun. “Do you remember?”

Sehun religiously rewatches Marvel movies the way people go to church on Sundays, even the ones he doesn’t care about. “Well, Chanyeol wasn’t wrong.” Jongdae frowns, and Sehun risks a little smile. “Loki is like, Odin now, or something. I think that’s the only important detail really.”

“Oooh yeah, the scene at the end when he transformed back,” Jongdae clicks his fingers in realisation and Sehun’s brain immediately starts writing haikus about how cute that is. “Man, I completely forgot. I get so confused at all the movies and timelines.”

“Coming from a DC fan,” Chanyeol rolls his eyes, and Sehun perks up.

“You’re a DC fan?” He asks, because holy shit, he and Jongdae have common interests. They’re meant to be. Sehun is an unstable hydrogen ion in the air and Jongdae is his missing pair to make them diatomic and balanced. “Which series?”

“Batfam mostly, and some Arrow family stuff too I guess? Wonder Woman if I’m feeling up to it,” Jongdae smiles at him. “What about you?”

“Diehard trinity fan,” Sehun answers. “Uh. Separately. And together. Batfamily is cool, Jongin and I didn’t realise we were gay until we picked up a Nightwing comic.” Oh shit, did he just out himself and Jongin and also his huge fucking crush on a fictional character named 'Dick' all at once? Jesus, Sehun, points for subtlety. At least he won’t be getting heterozoned anytime soon.

“I don’t blame you,” Jongdae replies, and oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, does this mean Jongdae isn’t straight either? Sehun hadn’t even considered it amongst everything else but, _oh shit_. “But like, Jason Todd.”

“He’s a mass murderer and borderline insane,” Sehun retorts, and Jongdae just sighs all wistfully.

“I know,” he replies, a little dreamily, and Sehun’s torn between fear, endearment, or jealousy at a fucking comic book character who hasn’t been written properly since 2004, no less.

That reminds Sehun. “You should see the keychain Jongin gave me for Christmas last year,” he says, determined to keep this conversation going, and reaches into his back pocket to pull out the tiny flashlight attached to his keyring. Except, instead of being a flashlight, it casts the bat-signal instead. Hopelessly, he grins at Jongdae expectantly.

“Well I’m guessing you found your keys,” Jongdae says eventually, bemused, and Sehun freezes because he’s a fucking idiot.

“Oh my god Sehunnie,” Chanyeol inputs, snorting as he turns back into their conversation after having tuned out somewhere after the mention of DC. “You didn’t even check your own pockets?”

“Ha… ha…” Sehun laughs nervously, shirking into his shoulder and contemplating what the quickest, most readily available and nearby method of death is. “I guess… not…”

There’s an awkward blip of silence as Sehun’s face quickly heats, and then Jongdae giggles and says, “You’re so ditzy. Cute.”

Sehun isn’t ditzy. Sehun has a four-point-oh GPA and an IQ over 130. He isn’t ditzy, he’s just allergic to cute boys. Or, in this case, extremely hot ones who like Batman and offer to cancel plans to help a stranger find some lost keys.

Holy fucking shit Sehun is screwed.

Luckily that’s when the lights dim and the group immediately shushes to accommodate, even if Jongin and Baekhyun are lowkey flirting up the other end. Sehun still wants to die, but it’s significantly lessened when the attention is no longer on him, praying that Jongdae and Chanyeol will forget it ever happening by the time the movie is over. The commercials play on forever, but then the lights dim even darker to let them know the movie is finally fucking playing, and Sehun throws himself into the entertaining but brain-numbing plot of a superhero movie, refusing to focus on the way Jongdae’s adam’s apple bobs when he sips out of his straw or the way their hands brush every time he offers Sehun the packet of jelly snakes he and Jongin had picked out earlier.

“Well, that felt like every other superhero movie ever,” Baekhyun declares as they exit, dumping his empty cup in the trash can on his way out. “Fucking loved it.”

“You love anything with gratuitous shirtless men scenes in it,” Chanyeol scoffs.

“False; I love shirtless men, period.”

“Oh,” Sehun drily quips, feeling significantly calmed after two hours of being able to distract himself. “Nothing like a shirtless eighty-year-old to get you going, huh?”

Chanyeol, Jongdae and Jongin all laugh in unison, and Baekhyun huffs childishly, shoving at Sehun’s shoulder as he snickers.

“Young shirtless men,” Baekhyun corrects. “Not that all body types aren’t beautiful but, uh, yeah, no thanks.”

As they keep walking, discussing the movie and whatnot, Sehun realises that they don’t seem to be displaying any signs of breaking up and going home anytime soon --in fact, it feels like they’re headed to the food court. Dear god, no, no more interaction. Sehun can’t handle it. His body and mind --mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually-- he’s just not built for this.

They split up once they find a table, to get the food they want from the various places, and Sehun decides to be the martyr and rescue Jongin from his incessant flirting to tug him towards the ramen house at the back of the court.

“Jongin I’m going to die,” he declares shortly, getting in the line. “I can’t handle anymore of this. My body is decomposing. My half-life is less than ten minutes, _Jongin_.”

“You are not going to die,” Jongin calmly responds, picking Sehun’s hands off his shoulders and maybe mumbling _unfortunately_ under his breath but it’s too quiet to catch. “Just… buy a beer. Loosen up. Stop thinking about how pretty Jongdae is--”

“God you’re right though he’s so pretty--”

“--and stop cockblocking me every time you have a panic attack over nothing.” Jongin turns his nose up childishly, folding his arms. “You’re doing fine Sehun. You’re not fucking up. You’re not going to fuck up. All three of them like you already, I can tell.”

His words are reassuring, but it’s not the fact of them actually liking Sehun ‘I forgot my keys’ Oh that he’s worried about. “You think I’m cockblocking you?” Sehun snorts at the hesitant look on Jongin’s face, actually snorts. Like a pig. Oink. “I’m panicking half the time I’m here and I’m still not blind enough to miss the way Baekhyun looks at you. I think he’d probably ravish you on the cafeteria table like a somewhat classy, horny victorian man if you asked him to but preferably don’t since that might change the nature of our best-friendship for the worst and I treasure your company and clothed-self dearly.”

Jongin frowns at that, ignoring the better half of the sentence, truly. “I dunno,” he mutters, scratching behind his ear nervously. “Sometimes it feels like he’s about to say I love you and I’m going to freak out because it’s way too early for that and sometimes it’s like he wants to friendzone me so hard my mom feels it.” His frown deepens. “Romance is so hard. People with commitment issues are the worst.”

“Takes one to know one,” Sehun offers, shrugging, and Jongin punches him, which hurts, but he’s also smiling reluctantly, so best friend mission accomplished.

Sehun doesn’t get that beer considering food courts are not licensed premises --or at least, this one isn’t-- which is a damn shame because he ends up in the seat between Jongdae and Jongin --who’d sat next to Baekhyun, naturally-- and every now and again Jongdae’s feet accidentally brush Sehun’s and he wants to die.

“So what are you majoring in?” Baekhyun asks at one stage around a mouthful, and it takes a while for Sehun to even register that he’d been talking to him. “I don’t think I’ve asked.”

“Physical chemistry,” Sehun answers curtly, and Jongin laughs while the rest of the table stares at him. “What?”

“I didn’t know masochism was a major option,” Baekhyun says eventually, and Jongdae laughs so hard he chokes.

“Like not even a little bio in there to make it interesting?” Chanyeol says, like he can’t even believe it while patting Jongdae’s back, and, right, him, Baekhyun and Jongin all interned under the same professor. They both must be bio students, then, too. “Not even a pinch?”

“Not even a pinch,” Sehun reiterates, and knows, internally, that this is his chance to make contact, because Jongdae techs for a chemistry practical. “What about you?” He asks Jongdae, and then tries not to die from the way a red-faced Jongdae looks at him, blinking helplessly, and Sehun completely forgets to follow up.

“... What about me?” Jongdae eventually asks.

“I mean, you-- chemistry.” Sehun clears his throat, as Jongin just sighs across the table, Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongdae all waiting with uncharacteristic patience. “You… are a technician for a chemistry lab--” yes Sehun, keep pointing out the obvious. “--so… no… bio… too? Not even a pinch?”

“Not even a pinch,” Jongdae replies wryly, mouth twisting amusedly. “I’m getting my masters in ochem though, since I um, don’t hate myself.”

“Just the people around him who have to hear him talk about the beauty of benzene all day,” Baekhyun mutters, and then perks up in realisation. “Oh my god, he’s the sadist to your masochist. You’re a perfect match.”

Chanyeol laughs, and so does _Jongdae_. Sehun hears the glass shattering thing again.

Jongin, sweet, beautiful Jongin, angel of Sehun’s life and light of all things, just says, “Oh, I forgot to ask, are you guys still on for next weekend?” Effectively changing the topic and keeping Baekhyun from accidentally making fun of Sehun’s dream relationship with Jongdae. Sehun shoots Jongin a small smile across the table, and he smiles right back.

“What’s next weekend?” Sehun asks, and, like a masterful magician, deflects the audience’s attention away.

“All the music-club showcases and, more importantly, our first big score,” Baekhyun answers, and Chanyeol and Jongdae roll their eyes in unison, while Jongin just looks blatantly amused.

“Baekhyun forced us to join his barbershop quartet,” Jongdae supplies, and Sehun nearly chokes on katsudon. “Now we have to do a mandatory showcase about it on a Saturday.”

“Hey, our quartet is awesome,” Baekhyun argues. “Even if I had to pay Kyungsoo to show up the first time it’s worth it and you know it.”

“Oh my god this is the best day of my life,” Sehun blurts, imagining the three of them in pinstripe suits with straw hats and everything. “What are you called?”

Jongdae mumbles under his breath, and when Sehun blinks at him, says it a little clearer.

“... The ketones.”

“Like… the carbonyl functional group?” Sehun asks, and Jongdae sighs.

“Yeah like… key-tone and ketone because we’re all science students--” he wrinkles his nose, but Baekhyun and Chanyeol just look far too amused. “--Ugh this is why I refuse to let Junmyeon name anything, ever. Including his own children. I will break into that hospital and save his children before he can curse them.”

Chanyeol snorts. “Junmyeon could never have kids, he’s too self-centred.”

“Oooh-la-la already had the kids conversation huh?” Baekhyun waggles his eyebrows. “You haven’t even moved in together or anything and you’re already discussing life after marriage.”

“I don’t know why I hang out with you,” Chanyeol says. “Or why any of us do, really, when we could just love ourselves.”

Baekhyun grins with all teeth. “Self-destructive tendencies?”

“The only logical conclusion,” Jongdae says wryly, and Sehun laughs before he can stop himself, doubling over the table slightly. There are so many names he doesn’t recognise being thrown out right now and the older three move a little too fast for him to keep up but it’s entertaining all the same. Jongdae’s watching him though, and it quickly gets him to stop, self-conscious.

“What?” He asks, blinking down at Jongdae helplessly. He really is so small compared to Sehun. Huh.

“Nothing,” Jongdae says, and turns back to the rest of the table.

 

 

 

“I can do this.”

“You can do this.”

“I can do this.”

“You can definitely do this,” Jongin replies, as equally disinterested as his response before. “You can send a message to a group chat first, Sehun. I believe in you.”

Sehun inhales deeply. “I can do this.” He tells himself, one last time, and then opens messenger, flicking to the the T(W)HOR(ES) group chat. Despite everything, their catch up on Saturday had actually gone… kind of well. Except for the key thing, which Sehun selectively chooses to forget ever happened, but other than that, the world doesn’t feel like it’s ending, and that’s character development. He’s not… really sure if he’s out of the kidzone with Jongdae yet but maybe he’s at least slightly in the I-actually-view-you-as-an-adult-slash-potential-friend zone. Hopefully.

Sehun types, _hey what time’s the showcase on Saturday? I wanna see._

 _U just want to make fun of us :(_ comes Baekhyun’s response, and Sehun audibly scoffs.

 _I want to support my best boys????_ He counters, which Baekhyun key smashes at and then tells him the details, pointedly reminding him to bring Jongin too --which Sehun holds the phone up at to show him, waggling his eyebrows, before Jongin pushes his hand away.

 _we’ll be there,_ Sehun promises, and sends his Snapchat name too, so Baekhyun can add him since he forgot about it last time, and since meeting them IRL he feels a whole lot less weirder about him and Chanyeol. The add he gets is instantaneous.

“Damn Baekhyun works fast,” Sehun remarks, whistling in impressiveness. “No wonder you slept with him before you even got to any romancing.”

Predictably, Jongin throws a pillow at Sehun, who only laughs as he deflects it, Jongin puffing out his cheeks childishly.  

“Shut,” Jongin says shortly in warning, but Sehun’s distracted from the empty threats because his phone buzzes with a picture which he opens up, of Baekhyun holding the camera up beside a glasses-wearing Jongdae --obviously studying-- who gives a lazy peace sign to the lens, leaning over a thousand and one text books.

The caption reads #NoSTEMNoLife, and Sehun snorts, screenshotting it because he’s that person that screenshots everything on instinct, but then his eyes widen when he gets another notification.

JD_92 added you!

“Jongin,” Sehun whispers, half-panicking. “ _Jongin_.”

“What?” He asks, squinting at Sehun’s phone screen because he isn’t wearing his glasses and just took out his contacts --but a lifetime of waking up and checking his phone first thing in the morning means Jongin is great at discerning blurry letters-- and adds, “Who the hell is jay-dee-underscore-ninety-two?”

If Sehun is correct, then--

Baekhyun sends another chat. _forced jongdae to open his phone for once :p_ and then, an added, _ur welcome~_

Sehun stares at that for a long time.

“I’m going to die.” He declares, as Jongin just reaches over, plucking the phone out of his hand as Sehun screams and hitting the add button back. “NO.”

“Too late,” Jongin replies, using all his refined, ballerina strength to push at Sehun’s chest as he holds the phone out in the opposite direction. “Oh, look at that, he’s already sent you something.”

Sehun deflates, blinking, and Jongin opens it up, just another stupid selfie from Baekhyun with a disinterested looking Jongdae in the background. He isn’t even snapchatting Sehun properly, it’s just Baekhyun doing it for him. Ugh. This sucks. Jongdae probably doesn’t even care that Baekhyun forced him to add some kid to his contacts list.

Jongin sends a selfie right back, and Sehun snatches his phone back, mumbling about Jongin flirting on his fancy iPhone bajillion or whatever, which Jongin rolls his eyes at.

“Touchy,” he mutters, beneath his breath, and Sehun just defensively huffs and goes to the bathroom, to brush his teeth before going to bed and inevitably spooning with Jongin. (Sehun just hopes he ends up as the small one tonight --it’s that kind of mood.) It’s not the first time they’ve ever stayed up too late studying and watching shitty youtube videos before the buses stop running and Sehun can’t get to his own house, and it certainly won’t be the last. Luckily for him, the Kim household is like a vacation home.

Baekhyun sends another snap, and Sehun picks his phone up, snorting at the image. Jongdae is face-down in his textbooks, passed out, and Baekhyun’s captioned it with _that grad school feel when._

Taking a lazy mirror selfie of a hood over his head and the phone across his face, toothbrush still hanging out of his mouth, Sehun types, _pls take care of urself and sleep._ And then sends it to Baekhyun.

Except his finger had slipped on the Recently Added tab, meaning he’d sent it to Jongdae too.

Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Except Jongdae’s eventual reply message of _thank you Sehunnie~ good night to you too_ is anything but rejection, and Sehun’s smile doesn’t fade even as Jongin wordlessly holds the covers up so Sehun can slip beneath them, feeling Jongin snuggle against his back. Sehun’s the little spoon, tonight, and Jongdae Snapchatted him. Today literally could not get any better.

  
  


Wednesday’s lab session is depressingly Jongdae-less no thanks to Sehun actually wanting to pass this subject and deciding not to break anything. But that’s okay, in hindsight, because he’ll see him on Saturday when he goes to the weird choral concert thingy.

Except when Saturday rolls around nervous-around-hot-boys Sehun comes out to play, leaving his palms distinctly sweaty and gross and Sehun fiddling with the choker around his neck every three seconds.

“Will you stop that,” Jongin scolds, as they settle into two seats near the front but at the edge, with a clear view of the stage. The music showcase has all sorts of student-run groups performing across the evening, but there are like, twenty of them before _The Ketones_ actually get their shot, which means Sehun’s ears are going to bleed by the end of the night, probably. “You’re like a kid.”

“Don’t kidzone me,” Sehun mutters. “I’m still tender.”

“I thought he Snapchatted you?” Jongin says, even though there’s no way he couldn’t possibly have _not_ known since Sehun hasn’t stopped mentioning it all fucking week --even if they’d never sent each other any after that. “Surely that’s something you only do with your friends.”

“Or to cute kids who won’t leave you alone,” Sehun huffs, crossing his arms and slumping into his chair, splaying out his legs. Jongin sighs.

“A week-long pity party is excessive,” he mutters, but they’re shushed as the light dims and the first performance walks on stage, preventing Sehun from having a comeback to _that_.

The performances actually aren’t bad at all, and it takes a while for Sehun to remember he’s in university and not high school anymore, and the people who do these sorts of things are like, actually good at them. It turns out to be a pretty awesome showcase for a bunch of choir groups and glee clubs and dance troupes to put together, so Sehun is more than awake and entertained by the time the Ketones make it on stage, depressingly pinstriped-suit-less and no straw hats either. In fact, they’re all just wearing their normal clothes with no thought to unity at all, but Jongdae looks so fucking cute with his sweater paws and tight jeans Sehun’s mouth is watering.

The mysterious fourth member --Kyungsoo?-- stands on the end, then Jongdae, then Baekhyun, then Chanyeol inappropriately towering over the three of them, and he pulls out a harmonica and raises it to his lips, blowing out a single note.

They’re…

… Really fucking good.

Like, _amazing_ , even. Sehun expected tacky love songs or moon-pizza-pies in four-part harmonies but it’s really more of an acapella thing, no one really being soprano, alto, tenor, and bass but mixing the parts. Sometimes Kyungsoo is beatboxing, and sometimes the other three are making other sorts of noises too, but their set isn’t multiple songs so much as it is like one big remix of various songs --some Sehun recognises, others not so much. It’s kind of silly, but the four of them, well, Sehun can’t imagine anyone else pulling it off, oozing charisma and charm in a way which makes everyone in the audience forget that they’re a fucking acapella barbershop quartet.

But it isn’t until Jongdae hits a high note like it’s nothing that Sehun realises _he_ wants Jongdae to hit him like that and then the whole performance is over, the quartet are shuffled off stage, and Sehun’s crush feels like more than just some harmless infatuation with a hot boy.

“Oh fuck,” Sehun says, clapping, and Jongin’s look of surprise --lightly flushed-- seems to agree with him.

“You guys were amazing,” Jongin says later, a little breathless as the quartet find them towards the back of the foyer in student hall, still holding their pamphlets in hand. “Like, seriously.”

“I see we stole your words away,” Baekhyun says slyly, which Jongin pinches his ear for as Sehun leaves them to their flirting and turns to the remaining three.

“Really,” he says. “You were so good. I was speechless.”

Chanyeol laughs good-naturedly, rubbing the back of his head, Jongdae just smiles.

“I’m Sehun by the way,” Sehun introduces to Kyungsoo, who reaches forward to take his hand too. Feeding off the highs and good vibes of the concert, he doesn’t feel too anxious, and it’s a really fucking nice feeling. “Kyungsoo, right? You were all amazing.”

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says earnestly, turning a little red, and then excuses himself as he spots someone else across the floor.

“I’m just surprised you actually came,” Jongdae remarks, tucking a strand of curly hair behind his ear as Sehun’s heart constricts.

“You would know I wanted to if you actually checked the group chat,” Sehun comments drily, as Jongdae snorts and then laughs, slapping his shoulder.

“Don’t be such a brat,” he says, and uh-oh, kidzoned again. Sehun’s face falls. “Oh! There’s Junmyeon.”

Chanyeol perks up at that, smiling before he even walks away, and Jongdae excuses himself to follow him as Sehun is left in the Flirters-R-Us aisle, rolling his eyes as he watches Baekhyun and Jongin, trapped in their own little world. Damn, he wishes Jongdae paid him at least half that amount of attention, or like, at least looked at him like he wanted to eat him a quarter as much. Jongin’s always been good with the… romance… and sex stuff… since they got out of high school and he decided to have a glo-up --Sehun’s still technically a virgin, not for a lack of trying.

Or for a very large lack of trying.

The thought occurs to him that if things with Jongdae go… anywhere beyond the friendzone, that might like, be a thing, and great, now Sehun has even more hypotheticals to be nervous about, despite the fact that Jongdae probably still views him as a fetus and will continue to do so unless Sehun ever has the guts to tell him to do otherwise.

Oh god, Sehun’s going to wither away at age ninety-six as a virgin who’s never done anything beyond pine over boys who won’t give him the time of the day. Oh lord. Oh Jesus. Virginity is really more of a social construct and not that important to Sehun at all but he at least wants to get laid _once_.

“My life is over,” he mumbles aloud, as Jongin gives him a skewed glance but doesn’t follow up, like he’s used to just accepting Sehun’s antics and not asking. In hindsight, that just makes him feel worse.

“We were gonna grab drinks with the others,” Baekhyun offers, later, tugging Jongin’s elbow even as he asks Sehun, “Wanna join?”

“Nah I’ve got a test to cram for,” Sehun lies, and Jongin furrows his eyebrows because they both know Sehun is always leagues ahead in studying and the chem test isn’t until Friday, anyway. Sehun smiles tightly. He’s just so tired, and he really doesn’t feel up to it. “Maybe next time.”

“Oh, Sehunnie, you aren’t coming with?” Jongdae asks as he worms back into the conversation and dear god does he have to say Sehun’s name like that? Jongdae frowns. “That sucks.”

“Maybe next time,” Sehun acquiesces, swallowing just to get his mouth to stop feeling so goddamn dry.

“I’m holding you to that,” Jongdae promises, and Sehun quickly walks away, just to stop his body from doing any spontaneous funny business.

  


 

Sehun spends a lot of time that week staring at his wall, and _thinking_. Sitting on his bed with his knees against his chest, and pursing his lips. The thing with Jongdae --in the loosest sense of the term since it is inarguably one-sided-- Sehun… actually… kind of… wants it to go somewhere, for once. Usually his infatuations are just, easy distractions, things to fill in the spaces of his thoughts while he commutes between classes, using familiar faces to fill in the shell of _perfect boyfriend_.

But Jongdae is sweet, and charming, and funny, and he has such a nice laugh, and sure, Sehun doesn’t know him that well, but he _wants_ to, and that, all in itself, is a terrifying thing. He doesn’t not want to fuck up because he hates the embarrassment, he wants to not fuck up because it’s _Jongdae_ , and it’s such a new, alien feeling, that Sehun is almost caught off-guard by it. He actually wants their shaky acquaintanceship to go somewhere, but it can’t unless Sehun gives it the push. Sitting around and waiting for a whirlwind romance just isn’t how the world actually works, which is what Sehun repeatedly finds himself saying as he pulls out his phone and stares at it.

Is there anyway to send a message without being painstakingly obvious? Jongdae’s made it clear he won’t respond to the group chat, but Sehun would never text Baekhyun or Chanyeol one on one, so obviously it’s going to mean something.

But… that’s the point, isn’t it? Sehun needs to be obvious if he wants Jongdae to get the fucking hint, otherwise he’ll just be kidzoned and virginal for life.

This is how conversation works, Sehun reminds himself, someone says something first.

Foolishly brave, Sehun texts Jongdae --over Snapchat, since he doesn’t even have him on Facebook yet, whoops-- _is ochem hard?_

Sehun has a shower to stop himself from picking up his phone, making a mental note to remind his mom to pick up more shampoo, and nearly has a heart attack when he sees Jongdae actually fucking responded.

 _Why??_ He’s sent. _Thinking of changing majors??_

 _maybe_ , Sehun types, then adds. _but im worried bc_ _ive heard that ochemists have… alkynes of trouble._

JD_92 is typing.

JD_92 is typing.

JD_92 is _still fucking typing_.

 _Block me._ Is all Jongdae ends up sending, and Sehun snorts at his phone screen.

 _i guess the chemistry between ur sense of humour and mine just isn’t working out ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_  Sehun sends, and bites his teeth as he watches Jongdae type all over again.

 _I’m a noble gas when it comes to puns -_-_ , Jongdae sends, but Sehun knows that’s a lie, because _everybody_ loves puns. Scientific fact.

 _I hope ur xenon in that case,_ Sehun says. _bc ive got way more of these bad boys, u can just call me ur tetrafluoride._

 _Just get it over and done with._ Jongdae sends, and, seeing it as a clear sign that Jongdae actually wants to be having this conversation, Sehun grins.

 

 

 

“Why do white bears dissolve in water?” A voice asks, startling Sehun mid-lab report, nearly knocking over a drying beaker but catching it just in time.

“Because they’re polar,” he answers smoothly, and Jongdae pouts, which causes Sehun to laugh, earning a few dirty looks from the other kids around him, dutifully writing their reports for the day. Jongdae huffs childishly.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t know that one,” he whines, poking Sehun’s ribs. “I’ll get you back for the guacamole joke.”

“Avocado’s constant,” Sehun remarks fondly, snickering when Jongdae pinches his arm for it. “Don’t you have a job to do?”

“Don’t you have a class to pass?” Jongdae counters, nasally, and then scoffs. “I’m never tutoring you ever. Not even if you ask nicely.”

“Who says I even need tutoring,” Sehun says casually, saying _ow ow ow ow_ when Jongdae pinches him again. Jongdae is so touchy, Sehun thinks, it’s hard to tell if he’s looking to deep into it, or if he’s really…

“I’d be a great tutor,” Jongdae argues, putting his hands on his hips. “I’m a chemist. I have all the solutions.”

Sehun groans, but Jongdae’s cackle fills up the whole lab as he walks away, earning a few glances here and there. He flushes, but it’s not entirely unpleasant, because Sehun’s constant exposure to Jongdae is making him _good at this_. They’ve mostly just been Snapchatting each other stupid pictures and chemistry puns, with the occasional chit-chatter thrown in when Sehun asks what Jongdae’s doing in the picture or where he is, catching up briefly during Sehun's labs. It’s not much, but it’s _something,_ and for now, that’s good enough for Sehun.

Things with Jongdae are good and not totally soul-crushingly embarrassing, and Sehun is really, stupidly happy about it. Snapchat prevents him from screenshotting any of the conversations too since Jongdae will know if he has, which means he can’t send Jongin a text every thirty seconds about his progress. It’s kind of nice, in a way, for Sehun to do this without Jongin’s encouragement and help, because it makes him feel like an adult in control of his own romantic life and not a helpless teenager who doesn’t understand social cues.

Sehun smiles down at his lab report as he writes the conclusion, feeling positive about things, for once, and then he notices the blood.

  


 

“I’m an idiot.” Sehun says.

“Just a bit,” Jongdae agrees, and reaches for an alcohol swab, Sehun wincing as he presses it to his fingertips. Jongdae had offered to fill out the injury report for Sunyoung since Sehun was a _friend_ , and even though he’s quite possibly bleeding to death Sehun is still ecstatic that he’s graduated to the friendzone. Then again, it would have been weird if Jongdae had said Sehun was his kid, or something, so maybe it’s a temporary thing. “You didn’t even break anything today.”

“I know!!!” Sehun exclaims, as equally as surprised, which causes Jongdae to chuckle. Sehun pouts. “I think one of the beakers must’ve been cracked. I didn’t even realise I’d been cut.”

“It wasn’t very deep,” Jongdae shrugs. “So I’m not surprised.” He covers Sehun’s fingertips in a band-aid each, and then smiles, satisfied. Sehun swallows; shit, their faces are way too close right now. “Still have to fill out an injury report. Do you know how much paperwork that is?”

“Sorry,” Sehun apologises, sheepish, flexing his fingers and pulling his hand back, just so he can stop thinking about how small Jongdae’s are in comparison, and how warm, putting distance between them.

“Don’t be,” Jongdae says, with a small smile. “It was an accident.” He starts filling out a pink slip, marking the date and describing the injury, signing it and everything. “You can make it up to me anyway, though.”

Sehun’s mind comes up with a hundred answers to that and not all of them are T rated.

“Um.” He says, a half-squeak.

“Oh my god a _drink_ Sehun I meant buy me a drink.” Sehun instinctively flushes, and Jongdae facepalms. “I don’t even want to know.”

“Nothing bad!!!” Sehun quickly explains, in a way that probably lets Jongdae know that they were, in fact, bad. He snorts.

“Undergrad students,” he mutters, like this is a thing pertaining to Sehun’s wistful youth and uncontrollable libido and not the fact that Jongdae could harmlessly eat a sandwich and Sehun’s brain would find some way to make it dirty --it’s almost a little bit offensive, and Sehun blinks at him. Does Jongdae really think-- “Here.” He shoves the pink slip at Sehun, cutting off his train of thought. “Hand that back to Sunyoung and go finish up your report before you run out of time.” He smiles lopsidedly.

“What about that drink?” Sehun blurts, before he can stop himself, wondering if he might as well take off his shoe and just shove it into his mouth, save himself the effort. Jongdae’s lips twitch, curling just that little bit more upwards.

“When did you get smooth?” Jongdae teases, and Sehun characteristically blushes, causing him to laugh further.

“Just call me Bond,” Sehun mumbles. “Covalent Bond.”

That gets Jongdae to stop laughing at least, tapering off into a groan instead.

“Okay I walked into that,” he admits, as Sehun grins victoriously. “But Baekhyun has plans to ask Jongin out for drinks but doesn’t want to make it one-on-one because they’re both afraid of ‘making it a thing’ or whatever--” Sehun snorts; they’re both so dumb, he’s glad Jongdae relates to him on that front. “--so I’ll make sure you catch an invite.”

“Maybe even make an appearance in the group chat,” he jokes, smiling hesitantly.

“I’d rather die,” Jongdae comments offhandedly, and then grins, shooing Sehun out. “Now go. We both have work to do.”

“Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone~” Sehun calls as Jongdae pushes him out the office door, pink slip in hand, unable to wipe the smile off his face even as his fingertips bleed.

 

 

 

Nervous, Sehun decides, is not a strong enough word to describe his state of mind, right around now.

“How do I look?” Jongin asks, holding out his arms, and it’s kind of nice, Sehun thinks, that Jongin is anxious as fuck too, because it means Sehun’s brain automatically hides his own nervousness to prioritize soothing Jongin’s. Friendship is great.

“Like you need body glitter,” Sehun jokes, gesturing to the ridiculous V of Jongin’s shirt, and on cue he flushes a little, doing up another button. Sehun rolls his eyes, standing and undoing it again. “You look great, Jongin. Relax.”

“Do you think it’s a date?” Jongin asks, voice quick because he’s nervous, fingers twiddling together. “I mean-- everyone else is there but it kind of? Feels like? One?”

“Oh it’s definitely a date,” Sehun comments indifferently, grinning when he watches the snap Jongdae sent him, of Baekhyun doing eyeliner with the caption _he only does this when he plans on getting some_ underneath. “But that’s not a bad thing.”

“I don’t know…” he says, scratching behind his ear. “I’m just… afraid of it being a _thing_ you know. I really like him and I don’t want to ruin that by being the worst boyfriend around or too clingy or--”

Sehun sighs, clicking his phone shut and rolling his eyes. “ _Jongin_.” He says. “You like Baekhyun. Baekhyun likes you. You will not be the worst boyfriend ever, because you will make an effort for somebody you like this much.” Sehun inhales. “So go out there and date him hard.”

Jongin laughs --albeit reluctantly-- and pulls Sehun into a hug, startling him.

“Thanks Sehun,” he says, earnestly, and then pulls back. “Make sure you get in with Jongdae too.”

“Oh, no,” Sehun waves his hands, as Jongin pulls away and gives him a funny look. “I plan on just buying him one drink and then spending the rest of the night contemplating if our general conversation counts as flirting like always.”

Jongin laughs. “Sehun, you’re hot as hell and charming when your anxiety doesn’t hold you back,” he says suddenly, causing Sehun to turn red. “I’m sure he likes you too, you know, and this is your chance to drink to kill your problems and actually flirt hard.”

“From the master of romance himself,” Sehun says drily, causing Jongin to hit him. “ _Ow_.”

“Just trust me would you?” He says, shaking his head. “Jeez.”

By the time they actually make it to the bar Sehun’s nerves have fired up again, but luckily only Baekhyun and Kyungsoo seem to be there, chatting happily at a round table behind the dance floor. Jongin spots them, tugging Sehun over, and they grab a beer at the bar each before squeezing into the booth seat --Jongin first, naturally, so he can sit next to Baekhyun.

“Perfectly on time,” he says, smiling at Sehun and then smiling _specially_ at Jongin. “You’ve met Kyungsoo, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sehun says, watching as Jongin and Baekhyun disappear into their own little world just like that. “At the showcase. Are you a science student too?”

Kyungsoo snorts at that, like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “No, I do drama on the west campus.” Sehun blinks.

“Then how do you know these nerds?”

“Unfortunate circumstances,” Kyungsoo says drily, which causes Sehun to choke on his beer before swallowing it dutifully. He’s beginning to have the feeling he could learn to like Kyungsoo very easily. “I went to highschool with them.”

“That must’ve been fun,” Sehun says, but the wincing look on Kyungsoo’s face tells him it was anything but, causing Sehun to laugh before he can stop himself.

“Did we miss another Soo one-liner?” Jongdae asks, sliding into the booth to easily plop himself next to Sehun, whose heart stops beating on cue.

Because Jongdae looks _amazing_. Like, illegal levels of amazing, in tight fitting pants and a mesh shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination. How is that even _allowed_? Who let him in through the front door? Doesn’t security realise that Jongdae is going to cause heart-attacks and a hundred mysterious deaths? One of which will be Sehun’s --in fact, judging from the way Jongdae is smiling at him and the way that their knees are touching, Sehun’s pretty sure he’ll be the first to go.

“Those are always so rare,” he sighs, pouting, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes with too much affection in them to be scathing.

“Can you guys move over?” Chanyeol asks, delicately balancing three drinks in two hands that he places on the edge of the table. “There’s no space.”

“Make room for Chanyeol’s flat ass everyone,” Jongdae calls down the table, causing laughter as Baekhyun squishes into Kyungsoo, and Jongin squishes into Baekhyun, so much so that he’s practically sitting on top of him --not that Baekhyun seems to mind, judging by his hands on Jongin’s hip bones. It’s kind of funny considering how much taller Jongin is, but Sehun isn’t going to point that out since he’s too distracted by Jongdae’s thigh pressing against his own, the tiny smile he gives Sehun. Their ankles brush beneath the table, but Jongdae doesn’t pull back, and Sehun’s brain is processing all the information so fast he can’t keep up with it, short circuiting.

“My ass isn’t flat,” Chanyeol mumbles as he sits down, pouting.

“Your ass is like dark matter,” Sehun drily adds, hoping that talking will distract his brain from thinking about how Jongdae _is right fucking next to him_. “Theoretically, I know it has to be there, but I just can’t find proof of its existence.”

Baekhyun chokes on his beer, Jongin doubles over with giggles, and Jongdae’s laughter is so sudden and _loud_ Sehun can feel his shoulders shaking beside him.

Chanyeol just sighs in defeat, and Kyungsoo says, “I don’t get it.”

While Baekhyun launches into the theoretical existence of dark matter, Sehun’s mouth feels inexplicably dry, and he reaches for the jug of water in the centre of the table instead of his beer.

“You’re meant to drink water after, not before,” Jongdae teases, causing Sehun to dribble a bit down his chin because wow Jongdae’s voice sure is low and his mouth sure is at Sehun’s ear and _holy fuck_.

Wiping his chin discretely, Sehun mumbles, “I’m very responsible.” Puffing out his chest just a little. No more kidzoning, not today.

“Of course you are,” Jongdae returns, prodding at the tips of Sehun’s bandage covered fingers resting on the table. Flushing, he shoves them onto the seat instead.

Sehun’s on his third beer by the time everyone else is doing fucking _shots_ , determined to get plastered for no apparent reason. Even Chanyeol seems to be intent on pushing past his tolerance --or so he enthusiastically explains to Sehun, who would rather be tipsy than suffer from liver failure. At least Kyungsoo shares that sentiment too -- _some_ people have to be responsible.

Surprisingly, Jongdae is not one of them.

“I wanna dance,” he slurs suddenly, shooing Chanyeol out of the booth so he can worm out, stretching in the empty space. “Someone come with.” Jongdae pouts childishly.

“Dance with Sehun,” Jongin offers, and Sehun pinches his thigh to cut that shit out, who only grins down at him in return. Jongin’s tipsy enough to be an ass, but not drunk enough to not know any better --Baekhyun’s influence, no doubt. Ew. “He’s a great dancer.”

“No no no,” Sehun says quickly, throwing out his hands. “I suck.”

“Six years of ballet does not mean sucking,” Jongin snorts, and Sehun flushes all over again. He’d had to give up dancing since it became too much on top of studying, and he misses it more than anything else in the world, but that doesn’t mean he wants to _dance with Jongdae_.

“Sehunnie can dance?” Jongdae says, looking surprised.

“What can’t Sehun ‘four-point’ Oh do?” Jongin snorts, and Sehun slaps his leg again because, _subtlety_ , what the fuck, and Jongdae looks even more surprised at that --which is a little insulting, now that Sehun thinks about it.

“You have a four-point-oh in physical chem?” He asks, impressed. “But you’re so…”

“Clumsy?” Baekhyun offers.

“Airheaded?” Jongin adds.

“In need of new friends?” Sehun finishes, causing Baekhyun and Jongin to giggle against each other like the disgusting pseudo-couple they are as Sehun just sighs, sliding out of booth seat and standing, allowing Chanyeol to sit down again. “But I guess one dance won’t kill me.” One dance with Jongdae will most definitely kill him. Sehun hopes his obituary is a good one. He leaves his longtime collection of Batman figurines to Jongin, even though he doesn’t deserve them.

“Then let’s dance,” Jongdae says, wrapping his hand around Sehun’s wrist and tugging him to the dance floor. His hands are so small they barely even fit the whole way around, and Sehun is definitely not drunk enough for this at _all_.

He doesn’t know the song that’s playing, which makes it harder to get a feel for the beat as he and Jongdae squeeze in on the end of the dance floor, but then it changes to something Sehun recognises, and he grows a little more confident. It helps that Jongdae isn’t very good and certainly aware of it, as Sehun teases him for the fact and gets whacked because of it --worth it for the flush across Jongdae’s cheeks, visible even in the low lighting. It also helps that Sehun is a little too drunk to think too hard right around now, running his hands over Jongdae's body who runs them right back because drunk Jongdae is somehow even more touchy than his sober counterpart, and way too into dancing.

It ends up being far more than one dance, though. At some stage Chanyeol and Kyungsoo join them, and they form a small circle, laughing at Chanyeol’s stupid moves and the funny faces Kyungsoo pulls while doing equally as stupid moves. Eventually they excuse themselves to go home early --something about work or study or Chanyeol being too drunk-- and so Sehun and Jongdae are left on their own again, being swallowed by the crowd and losing what little space is between them as they’re engulfed inwards like phagocytosis, bodies shifting against one another.

Jongdae cracks a joke about unstable atom repulsion, but Sehun loses the majority of it over the ringing in his ears and the thudding of his heartbeat, feeling every inch of Jongdae’s skin that brushes against him, pushing closer and closer with every song change, every passing beat. They have good chemistry together, despite everything, Jongdae easily following Sehun’s lead and Sehun reshaping to match his style, supporting Jongdae, and he finds himself laughing nervously as Jongdae winds his arms around Sehun’s neck, forcing him to bend down a little.

They’re so close now, nearly nose to nose, and it’s impossible for Sehun to tell if Jongdae’s eyes have always been so dark when there’s hardly any lighting to begin with, his thighs against Sehun’s and a hand at the hem of his shirt. He swallows, tugging back from the proximity on instinct, and the thick cord of tension in the air snaps when Jongdae just smiles up at him innocently, half-shouting about getting some water since he’s thirsty. Sehun agrees either way, and they wheedle their way out of the dance floor, grimacing when they see what greets them at their table.

“How have you not gotten kicked out yet?” Jongdae asks, but it goes unanswered as Baekhyun continues practically eating Jongin’s face. Jongdae rolls his eyes, tugging out his pink jacket from where Jongin is sitting on it, unbothered, and pulls out his phone, grimacing.

“Well I guess I’m kicked out of the dorm for the night,” Jongdae mumbles, as Sehun just laughs and grabs his own jacket. “Ugh, of course Chanyeol had to go early.”

“Just crash at my place,” Sehun offers on instinct, and then flushes when the potential implications behind that catches up to him. “I mean I-- spare mattress.” He shrinks into his shoulders, and Jongdae just laughs.

“Are you sure you won’t mind?” He asks, tilting his head with something _almost_ suggestive to it, which disappears before Sehun can catch it, and Sehun shakes his head, sure of it.

“It’s fine,” he says, and unlocks his phone to order an uber. “I don’t live far from here at all.”

“If you insist,” Jongdae says slyly, and they say goodbye to Jongin and Baekhyun --who aren’t exactly responding-- Sehun taking a photo of the two for fun and knowing they’d stopped drinking long enough to go to make their own decisions, leaving them in the bar as he and Jongdae head out to the curb, Jongdae shivering and tugging his jacket over his bare arms. Sehun mentally says goodbye to his favourite pair of biceps.

“Ah I’m so drunk,” Jongdae remarks, holding his head as he stumbles a little bit.

“Well you had like six standard drinks,” not that Sehun was counting. “Which is sixty grams of alcohol so it’ll take like, over eight hours for you to be sober again.”

Jongdae snorts. “That feel when zero order reactions,” he says, then counts on his fingers. “Four hour half life.” He puffs out his cheeks.

“Should be able to sleep it off,” Sehun shrugs, and watches Jongdae hum the last song to himself as they huddle against the cold, waiting for their ride home. Once they’re even in the uber Jongdae breaks off into some drunken, enthusiastic conversation with their driver, and Sehun tries to mentally compartmentalise everything that’s just happened and the fact that Jongdae is coming over to his house right now. Oh god, his room is probably a mess, and if his parents are awake that’s a whole fucking conversation Sehun _never_ wants to have and--

\--and nothing. Sehun breathes in, and out. It’s just a sleepover, but like, for adults. Not kids. Adults. An adult sleepover. Which sounds like an innuendo but it really isn’t.

“Your room is so cute,” Jongdae says softly, careful not to wake the household as Sehun leads him upstairs and flicks on the light, blushing on cue.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, horrendously self-conscious about all the comic book posters he has on his walls and the massive periodic table above his bed, ignoring the sly smile Jongdae sends his way about it. “I’ll go grab the spare mattress.”

“Don’t,” Jongdae says simply, and does the thing with his hands again, the one where he wraps them around Sehun’s wrist, tugging him towards the bed. “We can share. I don’t mind.”

Sehun minds. Sehun _definitely_ minds.

He stumbles as Jongdae giggles and drunkenly pulls him down, so that Jongdae is sitting on the edge of the bed and Sehun is lying beside him, a little bit startled as Jongdae leans in close, still smiling, but in a way that’s not innocent at all. Not in the slightest. He holds up Sehun's hand between them and fiddles with his fingers, slowly.

“You don’t mind, right, Sehunnie?” Jongdae asks, voice low and getting lower and face close and closer still to Sehun’s as he crawls over Sehun slightly on his hands and knees, making his mouth dry and his face red and his body freeze all at once like an endothermic reaction--

“No,” Sehun squeaks out, voice choosing that exact moment to break as Jongdae laughs but doesn’t move away, and then leans in, watching Sehun’s mouth, and Sehun is watching his, and theoretically, he knows where this is going, but--

\--but Sehun pulls back.

Jongdae looks at him, blinking, and sits on his heels.

“Am I reading this wrong?” Jongdae asks, oblivious. “Because you’re like, redder than litmus paper exposed to acid right now and I’m pretty sure you were into me before we even met--” oh dear god Sehun wants to die. “--but now you… don’t want to kiss me?” He looks kind of hurt, in hindsight, pouting like that, and Sehun’s heart is pounding so loudly he can’t even make sense of his thoughts.

“I do want to kiss you!” He argues. “I do, a lot, I just--” he runs a hand through his hair, watching the way Jongdae squints at him, even more confused. Oh god Sehun’s a mess. “--I don’t know. You’re drunk and I panicked and this isn’t how I really imagined this happening.”

Jongdae stares at him. Softly, he asks, “How did you imagine it happening?”

“I don’t know?” Sehun rambles, quickly growing flustered. “With like, a lot more candles and flowers and handholding and sobriety probably.” He tucks his knees against his chest, hiding his face. Oh god, Jongdae was going to kiss him and Sehun fucking _pulled away_. What the fuck. That was his chance.

When he risks a glance up, Jongdae is looking at him, flushed and eyes wide, evidently startled.

“You--” he says, and then falters, voice growing quiet. “--You like me?”

“Of course I like you,” Sehun blurts, and can’t even feel embarrassed because of the way Jongdae seems… surprised _._ “What did you-- what did you _think_?”

“I just assumed you wanted to get in my pants?” Jongdae offers, and Sehun hates how unabashed he is about all of this because wow, for someone who values honesty above all else Sehun is fucking dying of embarrassment right now. “You... You were like this even when you didn’t know me.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Sehun manages, weakly. “Liking someone because you want to get to know them better?”

“I-- I guess?” Jongdae offers, and Sehun groans and tips backwards because the embarrassment is fucking getting to him. “I’m sorry Sehunnie I just-- I don’t have time for a love life when I have a thesis to write, you know?”

“I can’t believe you’re turning me down because you have too much homework,” Sehun whines, groaning, muffled by the pillow he’s pressed against his face so Jongdae can’t see how fucking red he is, god. Self-indulgently, he peeks at Jongdae over the edge of the pillow. “You’ve never even thought of me like that, have you?” If his surprise is anything to go by, then--

Jongdae scratches his cheek sheepishly. “Sorry Sehunnie.” Sehun groans all over again. “I mean, at least I want to sleep with you, right?”

“So reassuring,” Sehun mumbles dejectedly, and Jongdae laughs as he crawls into the empty space beside him, mattress dipping beneath his weight. Sehun cracks an eye open and glances at him sideways.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Jongdae jokes, which is easy enough for him to say because he didn’t just get fucking rejected, what the fuck? At least he’s not treating Sehun any differently for it, which is nice, but kind of the root of the whole fucking problem to begin with. Jongdae is always so nice, it does stupid things to Sehun’s heart. He smiles. “I promise I’ll at least consider your candidacy in future.”

“Thanks,” Sehun mutters, and contemplates changing into pyjamas or offering Jongdae some more clothes before deciding he’s too fucking humiliated to do any sort of normal human functions right now and kind of needs to sleep so he can forget anything about tonight happened, ever. Jongdae just laughs as he switches off the lights.

“I really am sorry,” he whispers, into the back of Sehun’s neck, and it’s not exactly reassuring so much as it is heartbreaking but, well, at least Sehun gets to be the little spoon. Always a silver lining.

  


 

When Sehun wakes up, he wakes up alone, and it wouldn’t be so startling if his brain was better at selectively forgetting horrifying chain of events, like the fact that Sehun kind of drunkenly told Jongdae he liked him and got rejected. Hard.

Jongdae picked homework over Sehun. _Homework_.

Naturally Jongdae is too nice to leave Sehun alone without a text apologising, saying he was too cute to wake up and that Jongdae needed to get home and study, but Sehun is left with the distinct feeling that he just got dropped for homework _again_. God damn it. It would hurt less if Jongdae hadn’t said anything, honestly. This feels like salt in the wound.

 _sehun i can see u on spotify and uve been listening to iris on loop for the past three hours,_ Jongin sends, somewhere between Sehun dramatically staring at his ceiling and Sehun dramatically staring out his window. (It’s been an eventful day.) _wtf?_

Sehun picks up his phone with a sigh. _i feel like I had a shitty one-night stand but w/o even getting laid._

 _Oh my god_ , Jongin replies. _I’ll be there in 15._

Sehun smiles despite himself and the fact that everything he has left to live for is gone, and Jongin, true to his word, arrives fifteen minutes later, still wearing a healthy afterglow right as Iris drops for the sixty-eighth time, not that Sehun was counting. Jongin switches Sehun’s speakers off.

“Hey I was listening to that!” He argues, still lying on the bed watching cute cat compilations on his phone. Jongin sighs --Sehun regrets ever telling him where to find the spare key.

“Sehun you can’t act like you got dumped when you never went out with Jongdae.”

Sehun hisses. “How dare you speak his name.”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Jongin says, and snatches the phone out of Sehun’s hands, clicking it shut and placing it on top of the dresser --aka away from the bed, and therefore somewhere Sehun can no longer reach. Sehun, predictably, whines at this, and Jongin just rolls his eyes.

“Do you want to tell me what actually happened yet?”

“A lot of things,” Sehun says drily.

“How informative of you,” Jongin responds drily.

Sehun inhales. “Well, you were busy fucking Baekhyun and Jongdae needed a place to crash due to being sexiled so I invited him over and he tried to kiss me because he wants to get into my pants but I don’t want him in my pants I want him in my heart and I told him that but Jongdae said he would rather hold hands with his thesis on the formation of benzene and its relation to modern medicine than my sweaty skeletal fingers so I guess the only option left is to die.”

Jongin stares at him.

“Okay.” He says, eventually. “Do you… want… me to put the Goo Goo Dolls back on?”

“Please,” Sehun sniffs, pulling a pillow against his chest. As Jongin stands to switch the speakers back on right in time for the sixty-ninth loop. Nice. It would be more monumental if Sehun’s heart wasn’t splintered.

“Now can you give me a proper summary?” Jongin prompts, hesitantly, and this time around Sehun recaps the events with a little less bias, watching the way Jongin just absorbs it all in, taking note of every word.

“Sorry,” Sehun says by the end, but he feels a little better, weirdly, now that it’s all off his chest. “You just got laid and I’m holding a pity party because the guy I admittedly was a little too invested in said he doesn’t like me back.”

“Nah it’s fine,” Jongin relents, leaning back on his hands. “And he didn’t… completely turn you down, you realise. He just said he’d never thought about it.”

“It means he’s kidzoned me for life, Jongin, _for life_.” Sehun falls back into his pillows with yet another groan. “Who hasn’t thought about dating their friends at least once?”

“Who _has_ thought about fucking their friends and not dating them, though,” Jongin counters, and that’s… actually a good point. “Jongdae’s weird, but I don’t think you’re kidzoned.”

“Glass half-full,” Sehun mumbles, and Jongin just laughs lightly, patting his stomach half-heartedly.

“C’mon,” he says, standing. “Let’s go buy ice cream and watch shitty movies and maybe I’ll tell you about last night--”

“Ugh,” Sehun throws a pillow at Jongin, who easily dodges and laughs. “The last thing I need to hear about are your woeful tales of dicking and being dicked.”

“Too bad,” Jongin grins, and Sehun, despite everything, grins right back. “It’s a part of your best friend contract.”

And Sehun wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

 

No thanks to the awfulness of being rejected for homework, _twice_ , Sehun hesitates to contact Jongdae after that, and realises that Jongdae… isn’t exactly talking to him either.

Which is nice. Real nice. Fantastic.

By the time Monday rolls around Sehun is back in class and not happy about it, and by Wednesday he’s pointedly doing his lab-work without a single error, partly to maintain his GPA, partly for… other reasons. He thinks he spots Jongdae moving from station to station, helping out around the lab, but Sehun just shoves his nose further into the construction of his galvanic cell and purposefully doesn’t look around. He’s pretty sure Jongdae passes him at one stage and hesitates, but he’s called away to help another station before he can open his mouth.

It becomes clear to Sehun after one week that they’re both avoiding each other, and it’s like once he tells himself he stops wanting to see Jongdae he pops up fucking everywhere, forcing Sehun to turn sudden corners and double-step and enter random buildings just in time to stop Jongdae from seeing him. It’s weird, because Sehun isn’t sure why he’s avoiding Jongdae --possibly to do with the fact that he got rejected, to be confirmed-- but at the same time, Jongdae hasn’t made any effort for contact, either, so Sehun has a feeling he’s been avoiding Sehun too.

Ten days since The Incident™ and Jongdae sends Sehun a _haven’t seen you around much lately, are we okay…?_

 _of course,_ Sehun responds, after hours deliberating over it. _im just busy w hw and stuff._

 _Okay ;-;_ Jongdae sends back, and Sehun turns up the volume on his music a little louder.

It’s kind of weird to miss Jongdae when it’s not like they did all that much together in the first place, but Sehun had filled out a lot of spare time thinking about him or texting him, and now there’s so much empty space he doesn’t know what to do with it. Jongin tells him to take his time one lunch while Baekhyun --joining _his boyfriend_ \-- tells him to make up with Jongdae since it’s making him quote unquote ‘miserable and mopey’ and all in all, Sehun doesn’t know what to fucking do in the slightest. Jongdae is upset because he's getting cold shouldered, sure, but Sehun… Sehun got rejected, and past all the comedic coping he’d been doing it really fucking sucks, and he wouldn’t mind a little space just to get over it. Just a little.

Except, apparently, despite everything, Jongdae hadn’t gotten that hint.

“What’s a cation afraid of?” He asks, and Sehun sighs, putting down his pen.

“A dogion.” He says flatly, and smiles despite himself when Jongdae pouts.

“Okay,” he says, leaning against the lab bench. “And what’s a Jongion afraid of?”

“Is the Jongion you or Jongin?” Sehun asks.

“The punchline applies to both,” Jongdae says, and Sehun shrugs at that, still staring at his book pointedly. “Commitment.”

Sehun laughs before he can stop himself, quiet and breathily. Is this Jongdae trying to make it up to him? Or does he just want the convenience of friendship back...

“Look, Jongdae--” Sehun starts, a little reluctant, maybe, but Jongdae had been something fun and new and exciting and sure, it hadn’t been a year-long relationship or anything with deep emotional investment, but he’d hurt Sehun spontaneously both with rejection of himself and of what he’d represented. Jongdae is the first person in Sehun’s life where Sehun has actually wanted to _try_ and it’s not Jongdae’s fault that Sehun’s motivation had been damaged but it doesn’t make Sehun want to have some space any less. If he wants to salvage this friendship he'll need to quell his feelings just a little --even if Sehun isn't really sure that that's possible.

“Carbon monoxide is funny, right?” Jongdae interrupts, cutting Sehun off mid-sentence as he can only frown down at him, confused. “Because it has one of the strongest bonds in the world.” Jongdae swallows, adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “But it’s also really poisonous on its own, so sometimes you need to add a little water to make it better,” he picks up one of Sehun’s hands idly, holding it between them. “And see where the reaction goes.”

There’s a brief moment where Sehun just stares at Jongdae’s eyes, _confused_ , and then Sehun makes a high-pitched noise of discomfort and pulls his hand back.

“Are you kidding me?” He whisper-yells, glancing around to his peers that are watching him with amused/shocked expressions on their faces. “Jongdae, we’re not having this discussion while I’m in the middle of a lab and you’re at _work_. Can we talk about this later?”

Jongdae blinks, mouth forming a neat ‘o’. “Good idea.” He agrees, laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. “Hang around after, okay?”

Sehun grumbles in lieu of agreement, flushing hotly under the questioning gazes of his labmates around him, but he busies himself with finish the practical and handing in the report before time runs out, lingering around his seat as he does so. The last thing he wants to do --out of his Aries’ pettiness-- is give Jongdae a second chance, but it’s also somehow the first thing he wants to do as well? Feelings are so confusing, and Sehun is so new to all of it.

“I have an hour before my next class,” Jongdae states, as Sehun puts his notebook away. “Is that enough time?”

“I don’t… know?” Sehun offers. “How long is your heartfelt apology and explanation?”

“Around ten cue cards?” Jongdae says back, a rough estimate. Sehun kind of hopes he’s kidding about the cue cards; Jongdae grins like he knows exactly what he’s thinking. “Come on.”

He winds his hand around Sehun’s wrist, and Sehun can only flush as he stumbles after him, being lead through the winding hallways of the chemistry building into a courtyard outside, where there’s one of the small on-campus cafes set up in a wooden stall.

“What do you want?” Jongdae asks, smiling. “My treat.”

“Uh, chai…” Sehun lamely answers, silently cursing himself for still having a sweet tooth and not being able to handle coffee and also for forgetting that he doesn’t need to care about whether he drinks coffee in front of Jongdae or not, because Sehun is the one with the moral high ground here, god damn it.

He fiddles with his fingers under the table as Jongdae returns with two paper cups in hand, and nervously says, “So?” Because he’s antsy and the wait is _getting_ to him.

“I’ve missed you,” is the first thing Jongdae says, which surprises Sehun, who thinks ‘clingy’ would be his middle name if Koreans had one, because it’s only been two weeks or so. Then again, Sehun had missed Jongdae too, but that’s different. “I missed waking up to your stupid snapchats, I missed exchanging puns with you just to see you laugh, I missed teasing you to watch you turn red--” Sehun flushes a little at that, predictably. “--and I missed--” Jongdae cuts off, swallowing. “--you.” He ends simply, exactly as he started. A perfect cycle, just like a benzene ring.

“O… kay…” Sehun says, slowly, wondering where Jongdae is taking this--

“And it’s stupid, right? To reject someone and then be upset about it?” There’s nervousness cracking into his composure, now, visible by the way his fingernail picks at the lid of his coffee cup; it’s the first time Sehun’s seen him as anything but vibrant and thorough. “But there I was.”

“There you were,” Sehun agrees idly, _still_ confused and anxious about it. He’s going to puke in a bad way if Jongdae doesn’t cut to the chase sooner or later. Negative puke.

“I said I hadn’t thought about you like… that,” Jongdae continues, frowning at his own word choice. “But then I kind of did…? And you need to understand Sehun, I don’t. Date.” He blinks. “I’m a grad student with two and a half friends whose office pot-plant died because I forgot it needed sunlight.” He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “I can get laid only on long weekends and public holidays because it’s the only scrap of time I have, and when you told me you liked me, my only --admittedly drunken-- reaction, was ‘oh my god, I can’t keep a fucking succulent alive, how can I take care of a boyfriend?’” Sehun reluctantly laughs at that, breathy and soft. Jongdae smiles at it, which causes him to feel flustered.

“You’re so cute when you smile,” he blurts, and Sehun doesn’t even know how to respond before Jongdae is continuing so quickly he _can’t_. “Then, of all people, fucking Baekhyun told me something important while I was moping over my empty snapchat feed. He said…." Jongdae licks his lips quickly. "He said that there’s no point in waiting for a spontaneous reaction to happen, because that’s not how real life works. I should learn to appreciate good opportunities when they come and pursue them, because at the end of the day we could dance around each other for years and I’d either end up with you or without you, so there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.”

“Oh my god,” Sehun groans in embarrassment as Jongdae laughs. “I can’t believe you took love advice from _Baekhyun_.” Baekhyun, who spent so long in a period of _will-they-won’t-they_ with Jongin before they inevitably came together in the end. It feels so stupid to compare the two biggest idiots on the planet with Sehun and Jongdae, whose relationship is by no means similar, but somehow… it kind of works.

“You should be grateful,” Jongdae says, eyes curved as he reaches for Sehun’s hand beneath the table, running a thumb over his knuckles. “He catalyzed our reaction.”

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Sehun repeats. He’s probably never been redder in his life.

“I like you, Sehun,” Jongdae states plainly, and yep, now he’s definitely never ever been _this_ red, completely caught off-guard. “And I guess, it’s been so long for me I forgot what that felt like--” Jongdae runs a shaky hand through his hair, laughing humourlessly. “--but I don’t _want_ to be like Jongin and Baekhyun where we dance around each other while our feelings get worse. Even if I think I’ll be the worst boyfriend ever, I want to just… try. I want to see where this goes.” His smile turns lopsided. “You and I are a hypothesis that needs _extensive_ testing to see if it’s right.”

“Is this how you’re asking me out?” Sehun asks, gesturing between them. He can't believe this is actually happening, he's pretty sure his brain has shut down. “A fucking science pun?”

“Like you don’t love them,” Jongdae rolls his eyes, filled with fondness. “Is that a yes, by the way?”

“I don’t know,” Sehun answers noncommittally, mumbling behind his coffee cup as he takes a sip. Of course it's a fucking yes, his anger towards Jongdae dissipated the moment Jongdae smiled at him. “Might as well catalyze the reaction further and count this as a first date.”

Jongdae’s grin is bright enough to rival the sun --a pretty pathetic metaphor but hey, there’s a reason Sehun takes chemistry instead of literature.

Like that they _try_ for the remaining forty minutes, and fall into an easy conversation catching up on the weeks spent apart, and there’s this bubbling feeling in Sehun’s chest because Jongdae is _new_ and it’s exciting and they’re both actively making an effort to have this go somewhere. It’s stupid to think that a knight in shining armour will come whisk Sehun away or that he should expect electrifying chemistry upon the first meeting alone; real romance takes the smallest of potentials and a _lot_ of work to form a spark --but Sehun has faith in his hypothesis.

“By the way,” Jongdae starts, just as he’s disposing of his cup to return to his next class. “I forgot something.” Sehun tilts his head at him in confusion as Jongdae stands in front of him with a grin, holding one of Sehun’s hands. “It’s a little lacking in candles or flowers but there’s plenty of sobriety and hand-holding, I promise.”

"What?" Sehun barely manages, and then Jongdae is kissing him, and Sehun is three seconds away from proving that spontaneous combustion is real as Jongdae’s hand cups the back of his neck to tug him down and keep him in place, making out in the middle of a university courtyard like it’s not the literal last thing any student wants to see, electricity flowing between their skin at every point of contact. Jongdae is kissing him and Sehun is freaking out about it, motionless, because he doesn't really know how to kiss, and he's still got that weird metal plate in his mouth because of his ex-lisp and maybe Jongdae doesn't like that? But then Jongdae is _still_ kissing him, and Sehun relaxes, opening his mouth to Jongdae’s small ministrations as he hums softly in pleasant surprise and bites Sehun’s bottom lip, causing him to moan embarrassedly like the sweaty little virgin he is.

They just keep kissing, because Sehun doesn’t know how to stop, until some bitter freshman walks past mumbling _eugh_ beneath their breath and Sehun remembers that Jongdae has like, a lab to tech… or however English works.

“Well,” Jongdae says, breathless and flushed as he stares up at Sehun with their foreheads to pressed together. Sehun quickly checks his phone.

“You’ve got five minutes,” he mumbles. “We might have to repeat the data analysis on that kiss.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jongdae easily agrees, eyes not leaving Sehun’s lips, and they both lean back in to meet in the middle.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

New semester means new seat numbers means a new world of pain for Jongin.

“Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare.” He warns, as Sehun dangles a glass beaker above the floor. Jongin acts like every lab is a torture session, but it’s not Sehun’s fault that they’re seated across from each other.

“I’m sorry,” Sehun apologises, not the least bit sorry at all. “I have to do it. I haven’t seen him in over a week.”

And like that the beaker shatters before Jongin can form any more protests, with almost no one paying attention to it because Sehun breaks something practically bi-weekly, at this stage.

Jongdae comes out with a dustpan and brush and a smile on his face. “Hey stranger,” he greets Sehun, who grins dopily back at him in return.

“Ughhhhh,” Jongin collapses onto the bench in front of him.

“Hi,” Sehun replies, crouching over to help Jongdae pick up the shards of glass and ignoring Jongin's groaning. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I’m convinced you like your thesis more than me.”

“Aw, that’s not true,” Jongdae teases. “My thesis doesn’t do that thing with its tongue--”

“UGHHHHHHH.” Jongin has his hands over his ears now. “ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS?”

“How much does Jongin want us to break up?” Jongdae stage whispers, giggling in that way of his that makes Sehun want to kiss him. Sehun always wants to kiss him though, so the urge is easy to fight.

“Not much, his duty as a best friend makes him undyingly loyal to my happiness,” Sehun sneakily interlocks his fingers with Jongdae’s. “Plus, we’re zirconium 91, Dae. We’re forever.”

“That’s definitely the worst one yet,” Jongdae laughs, tucking a strand of curly hair behind his ear with his free hand as they both stand, fingers still interlocked. “But you can make it up to me later tonight once I finish off referencing stuff from today and maybe we can go back to your place and discover the 116th element?” He moves his hands so that his fingers hook Sehun’s lab coat pockets to tug him forward, and Sehun snorts at the terrible preposition before humming in agreement.

“Deal,” he says --Jongdae owes him for picking his thesis over his adorable boyfriend all week (even if Sehun had known going into this that that’s what he’d be met with.) Jongdae steals a quick kiss even though he _really_ shouldn’t, then scurries away to dispose of the glass properly. Jongin still has his hands over his ears like Sehun and Jongdae are the grossest couple, while Sehun just rolls his eyes because he and Jongdae absolutely have a deal of being as gross as couple in front of Jongin and Baekhyun as much as possible to pay back all the gross couple bullshit _they_ have to put up with.

And if Jongdae and Sehun act equally as gross when no one is around too, well, who needs to know.

(Sehun’s just happy that their hypothesis was right.)

“Hey,” the girl who sits next to Sehun starts, leaning over the bench with a worried expression and snapping him out of his lovesick reverie. “You know the university makes you pay to replace all the equipment you break, right?”

Sehun bursts into flames.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont? know what this is? but it's been sitting in my wip folder 95% done for months so i thought fuck it lol there are some good puns in here the world deserves to read
> 
> thanks for reading ♡


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